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Monday, 09 November 2009

#56: All-nighter and breaking thoughts

Hi it's me and I'm back again, pulling an all-nighter just so I can finish my Italian group project before shooting for another group assignment for Camera & Lighting. Ah procrastination, my fair-weathered friend who's there when I don't need you to be.

We're screwed for cam & lighting shooting because. because. BECAUSE. I forgot to check if my mum was going to have a day off from work to stay home and clean the house. I thought she would be working and that we could film at my house because no one else's house is available. BUT. I only found out at... 11pm? BUT. Like we had other choices anyway.

I have been thinking... Ever since I started poly life, I've gone from a bit initiative to non-initiative. In school. Everyone there don't really initiate to help or something. It's true. It's like, if you help a teacher, you're a loser. If you're enthusiastic with helping, you're lame. I bet these are what people think when they see a person being helpful and stuff. Is it bad to be helpful? To take initiative? And... a few new classmates do make fun of enthusiastic people. Or at least, an enthusiastic person.

And I hate not being able to see moments to initiative anymore. It's like I've lost a good eye. I sit on my butt and then realized I could have made someone's life or day better, easier with a small act of help, after the moment's gone.

I also am slapping myself for forgetting my resolution to be encouraging. And to compliment people for their good efforts, or their good dressing. It's going to be weird to start doing it now, but I should. So uh, people who think it's weird that I'm encouraging or complimenting you, take note.

I've always tried having a power nap when I need to, but never successfully done it because I haven't done my research. So just now, I checked on it and here's it for your guys: WikiHow - Power Nap

Buon Giorno!

Yep. He went from 20 minutes nap to full sleep.

Sunday, 01 November 2009

#55: Hello Win

"Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer."
Hmmm....

Yesterday was Halloween. Well, though a supposedly Pagan festival, it's commercialised, just like Christmas. So is there a reason not to have fun with it? We had a Halloween Tea Party yesterday, though it lasted all the way till 8 plus 9 at night. It was my first time having Halloween and dressing up so I guess it's been good. The whole day was good, except the morning part where I had little sleep and had to go for a training I am volunteering at which I can't tell you just yet in case I get into trouble!

Twister, shepherd's pie, nuggets with maple syrup, Wii games, Shutter hollywood version, Cloverfield, heavy rain storm and cooling weather. Loved it. Friends, lover and acquaintances, having fun. Cloverfield was a great movie. I love the significance of the opening scene and ending scene with both characters, the audience's attachment and emotional journey with Hud who "filmed" most of the experience, and how I didn't get motion sickness even though I have SEVERE motion sickness on modes of transport.

Here's what I dressed up as - Minnie Mouse.

Here's what Tonsice dressed up as - Slash from GnR, without long hair.

We went trick or treating at 7-11. The kind man on duty bought us a box of IMPACT mints. We all know how expensive that small box of small mints costs for such small packaging. So we were really thankful for this sporting guy and even took a picture with him, which is on Joie's phone.

After the party, me and Tonsice went to chill at a void deck because the weather was so unusually cooling and it was just nice for the both of us. It was a simple but great night I've had with him for quite some time. It was so great and I loved it that I am still happy now. Just a little bummed out there's school tomorrow.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

#54: I think the time of the month is nearing.

Because it has been a repeating trend for me to feel like... Escaping to another life I don't have but so wouldn't mind. Or fast forward to my future, skip the school and early years of building up my career. And a few days (can last up to a week) later, my uterus sheds and bleeds.

And then I have crying sessions for a few days prior to the menstruation. So I got curious and started to google "women cry menstruation". I got to some book preview thing and get this: there's 2 kinds of crying during menstruation period. I'm too lazy and tired to go back to the link and read through to state the examples but I'm just saying it leads me somewhere.

I wished they aren't illegal in Singapore. But I know there'll be people who'll buy them cause they're cute and start throwing them out or something like how they do with dogs and cats which is why SPCA is overflowing with them. Irresponsible people.

Okay this post didn't turn out as serious as I wanted it to be.
#53: Before another serious post...

God wasted no time in putting my words to action. To tell the truth about my new laptop. However, I am still mustering the courage and waiting for the best timing.

And omg! Free shipping for DeviantArt stuffs all over the world! Ends today! Please bring it back when I'm a working adult with ONE credit card/paypal.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

#52: Out of the Bad comes the Good

Freda reached another level of enlightenment.
She has gotten a lot within 5 hours.

+100 to Mel Wong.

+A lot to the Man above.

note to self

Social pleasing, social normality...
or
Plain, simple truth (truth personally for me, when said so boldly always hurt somehow)

I want/must to choose...

Plain.
Simple.
Bold.
Truth.

But tactfully, if needed of course. After all, I'd rather hear the truth tactfully (right, Tonsice?).

And anchor myself in it. In me.

Did you know when you cry and you don't really blow your watered nose out but just squeeze the drippy liquid out, it doesn't smell? Or at least mine doesn't.

Ultimately, Freda, you need courage. Boldness. Confidence.

Insects. The dark. Bad supernatural things. Rejection. Failure. Hurt. Regret. Death. Life. Confrontations. How people will think of me. How one action can have so many different consequences. That I'm wrong. That I'm right about something unpleasant.

There's no need to consider the limits. I have to break free from myself first.

Or when the opportunity arises whenever, wherever, whatever.

Yes I should start questioning everything and myself about things. Question things to other people. Stimulate my mind, broaden my horizon. Be more observant, more curious. Why do most of us stop questioning everything as to when we were just kids? Besides the fact we already know some things but that doesn't mean we know everything. Why do we hinder people, or even kids, from questioning things? Didn't we learn about whatever whenever we question? I learn better when I question. I wonder why I stopped questioning. I know it isn't because I'm not academically strong or interested.

Because I hate myself whenever I'm not confident enough, not courageous enough, too sensitive and more.

Start taking risks." The Good Samaritan way."

By making this post public is going to help me. I will update on my progress. I'll try to stay clear from "what's been going on with my life" and go into "what have I done in line with this post".

The lovely icons I've used were from any of these: icons_de_perchant, live_in_music, red_4icons, xXBeautifulFtIconsXx and the LJ member who did The Bucket List quotes icons on Adopt Me